christmas in the sand ♪ ♪ christmas in the sand whoa christmas in the sand whoa m ♪ christmas in the sand whoa i love christmas in the sand ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you so much, everyone! >> jay: colbie caillat, nice job! that was great. good to see you again. that was terrific. >> thank you. >> jay: i want to thank my guests -- megan fox, johnny manziel and, of course, colbie caillat. tomorrow night, quentin tarantino will be here! but jimmy fallon happening right now. jimmy, take it away! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] captions paid for by nbc-universal television -- captions by vitac -- www.vitac.com

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. welcome, everybody. that's a great new york city crowd right there. thank you, guys, for being here. welcome to "late night." [ cheers and applause ] we're going to have fun tonight. hey, i want to say congratulations to "american idol" winner, kelly clarkson, who got engaged over the weekend. [ cheers and applause ] we love her. it's going to be weird at the wedding when the priest is like "if anyone here objects to this union, text the word "no" to my cell phone right now." [ light laughter ] yep, kelly clarkson got engaged. so, i guess now she'll be mrs. independent. [ laughter ] listen to this, you guys -- on wednesday, "time" magazine will unveil its person of the year. yeah, i can't wait to see who it is, or should i say honey who who it is. [ laughter ]

i heard a little something. >> steve: a little something, something. >> jimmy: here's some political news here. the white house announced that it has no plans to prosecute marijuana users in states where the drug is now legal because they have quote, "bigger fish to fry." when they heard that, stoners were like, "wait, phish is in town? [ laughter and applause ] i follow trey on twitter. i didn't get anything." ♪ [ cheers ] ♪ that's how i actually dance. [ laughter ] that's how sad that is. some more news out of washington. it's rumored that john boehner and president obama are considering a partial deal to avoid the fiscal cliff at the end of the year. it's rumored that a partial deal is being considered. [ light laughter ] or to put that in layman's terms, "oh, we're going to go off this cliff. [ laughter ] oh, yes." check this out -- abc is working on a new show inspired by justin bieber's life before he got famous.

[ audience boos ] it makes sense. i mean, there's just so much we don't know about that week. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: some international news today. north koreans celebrated the one year anniversary of kim jong-un taking power with a big rally. kim jong-un was like, "you shouldn't have." while north koreans were like, "you made us." [ laughter ] you guys, christmas is right around the corner. [ cheers and applause ] so psyched. but, it means that this saturday is expected to be the second busiest shopping day of the year. or as mall bathrooms put it, pray for us. [ laughter ] and finally, a new study found out watching porn can actually hurt your short-term memory. in response, men were like, "wait, what was the question?" [ laughter ] we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots!

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a wonderful show for you tonight. we love it when he stops by. from the new movie, "the impossible," ewan mcgregor is on the show. [ cheers and applause ] he's always fun. he's always down to do something weird and fun. he is a great, great actor and late night institution. gosh, i'm so psyched he's here. we've been trying to get him on forever. charles grodin is here! [ cheers and applause ] you think he's going to be mad at me? >> steve: he might be. >> jimmy: he might angry at me, right? >> steve: you never know. >> jimmy: yeah. he comes on the show -- he goes on shows and he gets angry at the host. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: it's what he does. >> steve: that's his bit. >> jimmy: i'm psyched. plus, we're doing some home improvements -- oh, these are my buddies. the experts from "ask this old house" will be here. [ cheers and applause ] and, we have music from

dave matthews band tonight. it's going to be good. [ cheers and applause ] come on. it's a little christmas fun. guys, there are exactly five shows of our show left before we go on christmas break. it's time for that beloved "late night" tradition, "12 days of christmas sweaters." here we go. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ twelve days of christmas sweaters five days left ♪ >> jimmy: that's right. every show between now and christmas, we're giving one lucky audience member an incredible christmas sweater from the "countdown to christmas cabinet" right there. since there are five shows left, let's open up door number five. [ drumroll ] [ cheers and applause ] [ drumroll ] [ drumroll ] [ cheers and applause ] whoa! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this is goody. >> steve: aw, a sexy one. >> jimmy: this is a goody right here. now, let's see who's going to go home with tonight's sweater. everyone look at your seat number, and if i call your number, i need you to jump up and let me know where you are. quest, can i please get a drum roll? [ drumroll ] >> jimmy: who wants me to pick their number? [ cheers and applause ] it's a goody! here we go. 108. ♪ hey! ♪ how we doing, pal? how you doing? you excited? >> i'm so excited. >> jimmy: you're excited about this? >> yes, i love it. it's beautiful. >> jimmy: what's your name and where are you from? >> kristen from ocala, florida. >> jimmy: ocala? >> ocala, florida. a little north of orlando. >> jimmy: oh, very cool. welcome. it gets cold in florida. [ laughter ] >> sometimes, yes. >> jimmy: here it is right here. do you have anything like this?

>> no. but i'm happy to add this to my collection. >> jimmy: there you go. well, happy holidays to you. and there you go. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you deserve it, please. >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: thank you for coming to the show. [ cheers and applause ] i appreciate it. how cute is that? ♪ ocala -- ocala, flordia. well, you guys, i'm in the spirit of giving right now. [ cheers and applause ] and we're about to give away some awesome stuff. it is time for "late night stocking stuffers!" ♪ hey girl [ cheers and applause ] ♪ let the beat roll late night stocking stuffer yeah ♪ >> jimmy: that's right. every night this week, we're going to be giving an awesome gift to every single person in our studio audience. [ cheers and applause ] are you guys ready to see what you're taking home tonight? [ cheers and applause ] [ drumroll ] tonight's stocking stuffer is a pair of "street by 50" in-ear

headphones! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: whoa! that's right, jimmy. it's a pair of 50 cent's "street by 50" in-ear headphones. just one of the many great gifts shoppers can find on qvc.com. ergonomically designed for a perfect fit and professionally tuned for the highest quality studio sound, on the go. qvc is the season's one-stop shop for all of your holiday needs. jimmy! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: qvc, thank you. enjoy the headphones, everybody! stick around. we'll be right back with ewan mcgregor! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ go olive garden's 2 for $25. an italian dinner for 2. start with all the fresh salad and warm breadsticks you want. choose an appetizer made for sharing. then two delicious entrees from five of our favorites. classics like eggplant parmagiana. or new favorites like smoked mozzarella chicken.

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look who's back. again? it's embarrassing it's embarrassing! we can see you carl. we can totally see you. come on you're better than this...all that prowling around. yeah, you're the king of the jungle. have you thought about going vegan carl? hahaha!! you know folks who save hundreds of dollars by switching to geico sure are happy. how happy are they jimmy? happier than antelope with night-vision goggles. nice! get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. the story telling... the music. the costume design. filmmaking is my life. [ guy toe ] clarissa, i've always loved you! [ girl toe ] then prove it, marry me! it's a deal! [ kissing noises ] cut. we got it! that's me. and this is my windows phone. [ male announcer ] new windows phone. reinvented around you. ♪ [ coughs ] [ baby crying ]

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest this evening is one of the world's biggest movie stars, and he's having another great year. he was just nominated for a golden globe for best actor, and is also receiving lots of oscar buzz for his incredible performance in "the impossible," which opens in select theaters december 21st. please welcome back to the show ewan mcgregor! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: ewan. >> hello. >> jimmy: they love you! they love you!

[ cheers and applause ] thank you for coming back to see us. >> oh, it's my pleasure. >> jimmy: we're giant fans of you. >> and really, my great pleasure. >> jimmy: oh, please, no, this is -- you've been in new york this past weekend, right? >> yeah, i've been doing a lot of publicity for "the impossible." >> jimmy: yeah. so did you -- did you -- you got a little glimpse into santacon? >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. [ cheers ] >> i saw like the three ages of santa. you know, i was going somewhere and there was santas like, drinking. i saw the drinking age. they're all drinking -- elves, santas. and then, when i was coming back, i saw the eating stage. everyone was just -- it was at that point where they were eating pizzas and burgers and santas with -- and then, the third stage was the -- >> jimmy: oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> -- the vomiting, trying to get laid stage. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] there's lots of santas going "come on!" i'll be all right. no, no, no. [ laughter ] it's you're the least likely to get laid. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it is insane. >> covered in sick. >> jimmy: covered in sick. >> looking like santa. >> jimmy: yeah, vomit everywhere.

no, yeah, it is a weird tradition. i just remember it getting popular, but i don't know how long it's been around. >> i've never seen it before. it's like a new thing to me. >> jimmy: yeah. >> it's sort of annoying. >> jimmy: it's fairly new. >> i thought it was quite annoying. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, well it's not good for kids, i don't think, to see. >> no. how confused are they? like which santa is that vomiting? is that the real santa? >> jimmy: is that the real -- yeah, you can't -- you shouldn't do that with those childhood figures. >> no. >> jimmy: no, it's like -- >> it should be banned. >> jimmy: it should be banned, yeah. it should be banned. i want to ask you, because i just know this "star wars" news. >> yeah. >> jimmy: sorry to get nerdy on you. >> no, it's good. >> jimmy: but george lucas just sold it to disney, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: the idea -- the story of "star wars." >> yeah, he sold every -- all of lucasfilm to them. he let me know the night before that it was announced, which was nice. >> jimmy: oh, he called you? >> well, he e-mailed me to let me know that he sold -- like, everything, i think, he sold to them. >> jimmy: really? >> and george had always said that -- it was kind of common knowledge -- there was always to be nine stories.

and he shot the middle three originally, we shot the first three. and then, he told me that he wouldn't make the last three because he had other things planned, he wanted to do other things with his life. and if he made the final three, he felt that that would be it, you know? so, i just thought they would never be made. but now that disney have them, he's given them the stories, i think. >> jimmy: oh, he has the storylines already all out? >> i think he told them the stories, and he's off. >> jimmy: so, is obi-wan in the new -- >> i don't know. >> jimmy: no. >> but i don't know. >> jimmy: would you come back? >> i would, i would. i would. i could only imagine i would be a sort of wobbly, hologram type person, because alec guinness can't do it now because he passed away. >> jimmy: yeah, he's not with us. so it makes it hard for him to do those, yeah. [ laughter ] >> 'cause that would be him, wouldn't it? i became him, and then he would be -- i don't know how it would work. >> jimmy: that's too weird. my brain can't handle it. >> no, don't worry about that. don't try and go there. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's just insane. i want to talk about your new movie, "the impossible." >> i'm very proud of it.

it's a very tough film, but it's an important film, i think. >> jimmy: well, it's just one of these -- even just watching the trailer will make you weep. do you want to tell everyone what this movie is about? >> it's a true story of a spanish family who were caught in the tsunami in 2004 in thailand. and it's just a -- instead of trying to make a movie about the tsunami, which we didn't do, we very intimately told this one family's story. >> jimmy: i mean, it's wild. they get separated. >> they get separated. >> jimmy: i mean, the giant tsunami -- giant waves comes in. they're at a hotel on christmas vacation, or whatever. and then, this giant wave comes in, and you see the mom is not with the dad and the kids. and what do you do? >> there's three boys and the mom and the eldest son were separated, and the father and the youngest two boys were together. >> jimmy: you got to meet the actual guy, right? >> yeah, they came out. yeah, they came out. and he was very -- i hadn't met him before we started making the film. and you have a terrible -- you've got a responsibility, not a terrible responsibility, but a responsibility to, you know, get

him right, i felt. and i hadn't had a chance to meet him. so, i relied on having spoken to him on the telephone and things that the director had told me about him. so when he came out, he was quite nervous about it. but, he came out and he was quite happy with the way i was playing it. >> jimmy: well, i mean, you're ewan mcgregor. i would be so psyched if you played me in a movie. [ cheers and applause ] i'd be like -- he would be so bummed if i played him in the movie. he would be like "why is this guy --" yeah, he probably wouldn't even fly out for me. >> you would have got many laughs than i did, though. >> jimmy: yeah. oh, no please. but was it weird to be at -- is that the actual hotel? >> we shot in the hotel that they'd been staying at. the very same hotel. and when we're playing the scene where the tsunami hits the coastline, we were standing exactly where the family had been in 2004. which made it very -- in that sort of eerie feeling. it was very eerie. >> jimmy: but it's all rebuilt. >> and because we were there in the very place where it happened with so many people around us who were there, and who told us their survival stories and stories of people that they'd

lost there, there was something very special about that that we were able to incorporate a lot of those details into what we were doing. 'cause if you're going to make a story about something like this, you have to make it absolutely true -- truthfully and realistically. and that's what we tried to do. >> jimmy: well, even the effects, the cgi, i mean, it's frightening. you just see palm trees falling down and you literally have seconds to get away. >> the actual tsunami struck the coastline with no warning. and for our family, they had no idea it was about to happen until they heard this terrible noise and looked up and saw this black wall, they described it, coming towards them. >> jimmy: and people are fainting watching this movie. it's the number one movie in spain. >> yeah. >> jimmy: so congrats on that. >> thank you. >> jimmy: no congrats on the people fainting. sorry about that. >> no, no. [ light laughter ] no, but it is true. we've had -- in most of the -- i suppose i only know about the premieres that we've had around the world, but there's always a few fainters because it's so devastating. he makes you feel that you're there. the director has does an

incredible job. >> jimmy: phenomenal job. you and naomi watts as well. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i want to show you a clip of ewan mcgregor in "the impossible." it's in theaters this friday. check this out. >> listen to me. you're going to behave yourselves, okay? and you stay with this group. and i'm going to be with you just as soon as i can, okay? [ car engine ] you're going to behave yourselves, okay? i love you. okay. will you look out for my boys for me, please? >> come with us. you know it's useless. >> i can't stop looking. [ speaking thai ] i love you. i'll be with you tomorrow, i promise. [ car engine ] >> jimmy: there you go. that's what i'm talking about. [ cheers and applause ] phenomenal job on that. >> thank you. >> jimmy: more with ewan mcgregor after the break.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: ladies and gentlemen, everything you're about to hear is 100% true. it's time for "true facts of truth!" ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the world's largest pumpkin was around the size of poland and weighed over 60 pounds.

[ laughter ] >> sharks are afraid of heights. which is why you rarely see them at the top of buildings. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: after working on the pyramids, the ancient egyptians would quench their thirst with orange fanta. [ laughter ] >> the word "bagel" is old english for "butthole bread." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] >> jimmy: kangaroos have a pouch on their stomachs to carry their babies and their iphones.

[ laughter ] >> henry ford's first model car had 600 wheels. it was later na -- [ laughter ] -- it was later narrowed down to four. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: ducks enjoy movies. but they don't like twist endings. [ laughter ] >> 85% of men have enjoyed cheeseburgers. but only 74% of them are aware of it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: christopher columbus' parents were going to name him catherine if he was a girl. [ laughter ]

>> benjamin franklin was a great inventor. but he was also ugly. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: soccer ball and basketball have the same shape. but football does not. [ laughter and applause ] >> sometimes it's fun to imagine a cat at a typewriter. [ laughter ] >> both: namaste. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: that was "true facts of truth." stick around. we'll be right back with more "late night." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ tough. ♪ doing it with a cold, just not going to happen. vicks dayquil -- powerful non-drowsy 6-symptom cold & flu relief. ♪

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guests put their expertise to work each week on the emmy nominated pbs home improvement show, "ask this old house." please welcome to the show, the host of the show, kevin o'connor. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ general contractor, tom silva.

♪ [ cheers and applause ] heating and plumbing expert, richard trethewey. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] and landscape contractor, roger cook, in the house, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: guys, congratulations. 11th season of "ask this old house." and thank you for -- thank you for having me on. i was on -- i was on the times square of the new york edition. >> you did a great job with that. >> jimmy: it was very fun, yeah. it was great. >> you came on. you played "what is it?" >> jimmy: i played "what is it?" >> a lot of fun, right? >> jimmy: yeah, did we realize what it was, again? >> yeah, it was to get seagulls off. >> jimmy: a wind thing or something? >> mindreader. >> jimmy: that's right, exactly. >> well, we know you were disappointed that you didn't get to lay hands on tools. >> jimmy: yeah, i didn't get to do anything -- >> we're going to do that right now. >> we brought the tools to you. >> jimmy: let's do it. >> these are all projects -- come on around here, jimmy. stand right here. >> jimmy: yeah. >> these are all projects we're doing. >> jimmy: you brought the tools to me, don't talk like that about them. they're very nice. >> these are projects -- [ laughter ] -- that have all been on this season, right down to something that tom and i actually built in our barn. >> jimmy: ooh! >> and we're going to show you how to do all this stuff. >> we showed our viewers how to build this. >> jimmy: okay, good. >> this is made of plywood, this is a panel. and right here, these stiles an

rails are pretty common if you're building a cabinet or a door. you see them on any doors. i'm going to show you how to put together a stile and rail system so you can make your own cabinet. >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about, yeah! [ cheers and applause ] all right, what do i do? i got to put these on, right? goggles? >> start off with these slots, right here. all right? >> jimmy: yeah. >> now, these slots are made with this little jig -- now, you need to have your safety glasses on. i'll get mine on. >> jimmy: i did a jig with some slots last st. patrick's day. [ laughter ] >> all right, so you just put this in here like this. >> don't talk about my family like that. >> i'm going to drill one, and then you can drill the other. all right? >> jimmy: well, wait a second. >> so you're just going to go like this, turn it on. >> jimmy: see, this is easy. [ drill sound ] people like me can do this! >> and you're going to push that in. >> jimmy: wait, that's -- >> they go in that hole right there. >> -- go to b? >> yeah, go to b.turnt. we just got to pull out, see? >> jimmy: thank you, kevin. [ laughter ] there are -- there are slots.

>> so now, when you push this together like this -- >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> -- now you have to hold it -- so you just hold it with this clamp. >> jimmy: okay, get a normal clamp like that. >> all right, and you just squeeze it. now, what i want you to do is i want you to take this screwdriver, see? >> jimmy: yeah. >> put that on there like that. put the screw right into that hole. >> let's see how you screw. [ laughter ] >> screw it right in there. >> it's not like this on our show. >> jimmy: it's not i'm in reverse, yeah, this is so me. >> very clean on pbs. [ drill sound ] >> you got to push. >> jimmy: what? [ laughter ] >> come on, jimmy. >> jimmy: don't tell me how to screw. okay? [ laughter ] >> well, you obviously need help! >> jimmy: am i in? >> that's what she said. >> are you in? >> stop it, stop it. >> jimmy: all right, i'm done with this. >> all right, all right. >> now, this is the beginning. so now, you end up with something like that. >> jimmy: look at that! that's beautiful. >> yeah, just like that. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: see, i kind of did that. >> now, we're going to show you how to -- >> jimmy: i like this guy -- who makes this guy? dewalt? look at it, it has headlights on it. how cool is this screwdriver? it's so rad, yeah, i love it.

sorry, sorry, i have a.d.d., i have a.d.d. >> we're going to dress up this edge right here. >> jimmy: yeah. >> see this edge right here? >> jimmy: yeah, it's beautiful. >> all right, now that has a nice, sharp edge. and we're going to turn that into a nice little molding detail. >> jimmy: ooh. >> and you're going to use that router to do that. >> ever use one of these? >> jimmy: no. >> okay, good. >> jimmy: i watched you guys use it. >> it's got the base here, it's got a bit here, it's got a little bearing. >> jimmy: is that sharp? >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, thanks for putting your finger there. yeah. >> pull it close. >> jimmy: okay. >> and then just drive it around the edge, just like that. >> jimmy: okay. >> that's the on button. >> jimmy: all right. do i hold anything? do i hold -- >> yeah. >> hold it like this. once you turn it on -- [ machine sounds ] >> jimmy: all right. >> bring it in there like that. all right? >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> you've got a good grip. you're going to be all right. >> jimmy: okay. >> we'll hold this for you. >> jimmy: this is a router? >> that's a router. [ machine sounds ] >> jimmy: like this? >> yeah, now pull it to you. get in there. now bring it -- oh, yeah! >> look at that. [ cheers and applause ] >> keep following, go this way. go this way. >> jimmy: woo! yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> look what you're doing. >> look at that. >> love the sawdust -- >> jimmy: i mean, look at this. right? >> he has turned that square

edge into a beautiful little molding. >> you're amazing. >> jimmy: just try this. i'm really talented, you guys. you're making me feel -- this is the most manly thing i'm going to be doing all year. all right. what do we got next? >> one of the major viewer e-mails we get is about energy. how much they spend to heat or cool their house. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> so -- they pay a lot for that energy -- >> jimmy: well, first you shouldn't, yeah, -- these doors, better doors. that's a good first tip. [ laughter ] first tip for saving energy. >> you need to find out where -- >> jimmy: garbage bag doors. >> -- the heat is leaving the building. [ laughter ] so you start with an energy audit. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> any good energy audit has one of these. it's a "blower door test." >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> "the blower door" can either push into the building, you know, or blow. or it can pull out of the building or suck. [ laughter ] >> easy now. >> jimmy: i'm biting my tongue. i'm just biting my tongue. >> for an audit, it's always better to pull. and so, once you get it underneath -- [ machine sounds ] -- you're pulling all of the air out of the building. now, you can actually see where the heat is leaving the building. >> jimmy: what is it doing now? is this blowing or is this sucking? >> it's sucking. >> jimmy: okay. >> so, now you take that. >> this is called a "smoke stick." and when the fan is on --

>> jimmy: did you get this out of higgins' dressing room? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> so now, you can hold this up against doors or windows or holes in the ceiling to see where the heat is leaving the building once that fan is on. >> jimmy: dude, let's go to bonnaroo, right now. let's just go. [ laughter ] this is ridiculous -- "smoke stick." yeah, i'm done. this is awesome. all right. >> there's another great tool that we have nowadays which is the infrared camera. jimmy, just go up against that wall and put your hand against the wall. >> hold it there. >> now, hold it against the wall. >> jimmy: hey, that's me. i never looked better. >> smile for the camera. >> now pull your hand away. >> look at that. we use this to see how hot your hand is. but we can also see -- this is a miniature house that we've built right here for you. >> just for you. >> and so, now we've heated it. but on the left side, you see there's no insulation. so see how all the heat is leaving through the walls, windows and roof? >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> now, on the right side, it's perfectly insulated. so this is a great tool for us to figure out where the heat is leaving the building. >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about.

see! [ cheers and applause ] and you brought in a little house. what's this? >> so once you found all the holes with the camera, with the smoke sensor, you can use some caulk. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> or we got the spray foam. so you just go around. >> jimmy: yep. >> look out. [ spraying sound ] and just kind of get all the little holes. >> seal all the holes. >> jimmy: just get your caulk all over the place. [ laughter ] you want to get your caulk in as many places as you can. all right. here we go. [ laughter ] all right let's go. >> that's enough wasting time. >> jimmy: i'm sorry. >> let's break something! >> jimmy: let's do it! all right, let's stop. >> i got to get you out of this. >> jimmy: all right, my friend. here we go. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> now, every once in a while on the job, i have to split a rock or a piece of granite. and you know what i do to split the granite? >> jimmy: no. >> i use feathers. >> jimmy: feathers? >> and you're going to help me right now. >> jimmy: okay. >> first thing we're going to do -- >> here you go. >> jimmy: thanks. >> -- get our gear up. >> jimmy: how come you guys don't have to do this and i do? >> we always do. >> you going to drill a hole in the granite. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> we've got some of them done. you're going to finish that hole for me. you're going to drill down with this rock carbide bit and this rotary hammer drill --

>> jimmy: mm-hmm. >> -- to the depth of that black mark right there. >> jimmy: now, how thick is this granite? >> this is about seven inches thick and three feet long. >> jimmy: yeah. >> go, jimmy. >> two hands. hold on tight. pull the trigger. [ machine sounds ] >> jimmy: yeah! ♪ i'm exhausted. >> you're not done yet. >> jimmy: i'm not? >> you're going to clean this out. >> jimmy: what is that thing? >> from drilling and screwing. >> jimmy: yeah, thank you, buddy. i appreciate that. where do i put this? >> now, come down here with me. >> jimmy: that wasn't a rhetorical question. i'm just kidding. here we go. >> these are the feathers. come down here. don't be afraid. >> jimmy: yeah, okay. >> these are the feathers i was talking about. they're actually shields, and they're going to go in the hole with this wedge. wrap it like this. >> jimmy: okay. oh. >> you're going to drop it in. >> jimmy: i understand what's up. >> okay, now -- >> jimmy: so when you hit this, this is going to expand and break the rock.

>> okay, now you're going to start down this end really light, working all the way up back and forth until it splits off. >> jimmy: really? >> go ahead. [ cheers and applause ] [ clicking sounds ] >> jimmy: it's like whack-a-mole. >> roots, we need some rock-splitting music here. ♪ let's go! [ rhythmic clapping ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> there it is! >> jimmy: kevin o'connor, tom silva, richard trethewey and roger cook. check your local listings for "ask this old house." charles grodin joins us next. there he is right now in the bud light platinum suite! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ wooohooo....hahaahahaha!

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is an emmy award-winning writer, actor, best-selling author and cbs radio commentator. his dvd of advice, "the perils of show business: proceed at your own risk," is available in stores and online. please welcome, charles grodin! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow, they gave you a standing ovation. >> wow, i really appreciate that. >> jimmy: they gave you a standing ovation. >> let me tell you something. i've been doing this for longer than you've been living. no offense, you know. but when you drilled that granite, that had to be one of the great comic -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: moment ever, right? >> not since i watched martha stewart cook chicken wings -- [ laughter ] -- have i seen such entertaniment. >> jimmy: you don't recall such entertaining television. yeah. >> no, i mean, she's cooking chicken wings. >> jimmy: no yeah, it's up there with that. >> no. the granite, to drill granite. >> jimmy: yeah that was

really -- >> if that's not entertainment. come on. [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: unbelievable. well, you would know. you would know. you've been around. you've seen these shows. you've been on these shows, a great guest. are you mad? >> i'm furious. >> jimmy: you're furious at me. i didn't do it -- >> i'll tell you why. i had to sign about 27 pages of the authorize your name, your authorization. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> nowhere did it say "is there any money involved here?" >> jimmy: we're not paying you, charles. but we're just having you as a -- i'll pay you next time or something. i'll work out some deal. i don't know. i don't know how this -- >> can i take the cake home that's in my dressing room? >> jimmy: if you don't mind leaving it, that would be the best. [ laughter ] just because we're on a budget here. >> can i take a slice? one slice of cake? >> jimmy: if you haven't taken the slice by now, i'm going to say it's been removed. you have? [ laughter ] >> i enjoyed it, very good. >> jimmy: charles -- >> this is television. see, i was told it was radio. >> jimmy: no you didn't. [ light laughter ] you were not told that at all. >> no, because i've never -- don't take offense. i haven't seen anything.

>> jimmy: you've never seen my show? >> i've never seen anyone's show. >> jimmy: you don't watch -- >> i don't watch -- i don't have a television set. >> jimmy: you do, yeah. >> i had a television set when i was a little boy. >> jimmy: yeah. >> are you mocking me? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm not mocking you at all. i just -- >> i started before you were born with johnny carson. >> jimmy: yeah, he's the greatest. he was in this studio. johnny carson. [ cheers and applause ] yeah, that's -- you've been on the show, johnny carson's show, many times. >> i was under contract to johnny carson. >> jimmy: how do you mean, under contract? >> he actually put me under contract. i was on in 1973 at six minutes to one. then at three weeks later, nine minutes to one. then i was under contract after that as a guest. exclusively as a guest. >> jimmy: so once a month they would have you on? >> once every three weeks. >> jimmy: really? >> then i went from -- then i became the first guest and then i was eventually -- you'll see why -- was banned. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what are you talking

about? >> i'm regularly banned. i'll be banned here. i mean, we started fine, but i'll be banned before you know it. >> jimmy: you won't be banned. are you going to be banned? no. so far we're getting along. everything's great. i mean, you're in a little bit of a bad mood, but you're coming out of your funk. you're coming out of your funk. >> what are these guys doing over here? >> jimmy: the band? that's the roots. [ cheers and applause ] >> this is the very famous dave matthews band. >> jimmy: that is not the dave matthews band. [ laughter ] that is not dave matthews band at all. charles, they're coming out later on, dave matthews band. yeah. >> well, they're very accomplished. >> jimmy: they are very accomplished. >> that is not dave matthews band? >> jimmy: no. i don't believe they are. no. >> is this a chair? >> jimmy: yeah, yes, that is a chair. but that's the roots. [ cheers ] and they are here every single night. >> this is what i call great radio. >> jimmy: this is not radio. again, we're on television. we're on tv. charles grodin, tell me about this dvd i can get. you can buy the actual dvd or you can go online and get "the perils of show business." >> well, first of all, i

wouldn't be talking about it. i give all -- unlike some charities, i give 100% of anything i make. including -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very nice. >> -- including my non-existent salary tonight. >> jimmy: well, we don't pay you. i'm sorry. >> but this is about -- basically, the whole message is, i studied acting for eight years, and not once in those eight years did anyone ever say that 3% of the people that go into show business, that means maybe a couple of million a year, make a living. no one ever said that. >> jimmy: no. >> no, i don't want to get too personal with you. >> jimmy: what are you talking about? i am making a living as we speak. this is what i do. >> well, you're one of the 3%. you're making a living doing this? >> jimmy: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] yeah, i'm making a living. yeah, i'm doing pretty well. are you mocking me? >> no, no. [ laughter ] no, i mean this in the nicest way. you're making a living doing this? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you see what i did to that granite earlier? >> and 1%, and he's in the 1%, which you have heard of. this is all true. 3% make a living and 1% which

you have heard of. not because there aren't a lot of gifted people, because there are plenty of gifted people, because they can't handle all the rejection. have you ever been rejected before tonight? >> jimmy: oh, yeah. absolutely. but this is the worst. [ laughter ] this is the one that hurts the most. yeah. >> well, i'm joking. i can't get over it -- i can't. >> jimmy: no, come on. [ laughter ] charles, i can't wait to get this. i hope everyone goes out and gets this. go online, go to apple tv or go wherever. >> it's amazon.com. all the money goes to -- 100% goes to charity. if you want to go into show business, understand there's a lot of rejection. who could talk about that more than you? no offense. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: charles grodin, everyone. [ cheers and applause ] pick up "the perils of show business: proceed at your own risk" in stores right now! dave matthews band performs after the break. ♪ that is not dave matthews band. did you get chips for the party? nope.

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♪ >> jimmy: our next guests are one of our favorite groups. tonight they're here to perform "christmas song" from their classic album "remember two things." please welcome back to the show, dave matthews band! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ she was his girl he was her boyfriend

she be his wife make him her husband ♪ ♪ a surprise on the way any day any day one healthy little giggling dribbling baby boy ♪ ♪ the wise men came three made their way to shower him with love while he lay in the hay ♪ ♪ shower him with love love love love love love love love is all around not very much of his ♪ ♪ childhood was known kept his mother mary worried always out on his own he met another mary ♪ ♪ for a reasonable fee less than reputable

was known to be his heart was full of love ♪ ♪ love love love love love love love is all around when jesus christ was nailed to the his tree ♪ ♪ said oh daddy-o i can see how it all soon will be i came to shed ♪ ♪ a little light on this darkening scene instead i fear i spill the blood of my ♪ ♪ children all around the blood of our children all around the blood of our ♪ ♪ children all around so i'm told so the story goes

the people he knew were ♪ less than golden hearted gamblers and robbers ♪ ♪ drinkers and jokers all soul searchers like you and me rumors insisted ♪ ♪ he soon would be for his deviations taken into custody by the authorities ♪ ♪ less informed than he drinkers and jokers all soul searchers searching for love ♪ ♪ love love love love love love love is all around

preparations were made for his celebration day ♪ ♪ he said eat this bread and think of it as me drink this wine and dream it will be ♪ ♪ the blood of our children all around the blood of our children all around ♪ ♪ the blood of our children all around father up above why in all this hatred ♪ ♪ have you filled me up with love love love love love love ♪ ♪ love love is all around father up above why in all this anger do you fill us up with love ♪